Exchange students from the school of fish

I recently received an anonymous comment about the alleged foreign fish who live with me. I feel that I must reply to this accusation ('Steve the Gangmaster') before my reputation is sullied for good. I must have my say in this tropical debate.

These fish, whom I generously allowed into my home, assured me that they had all the relevant paperwork. Although it had been difficult for them to get passports, they managed to swim past the port very quickly and leave their country that way. They informed me that they would be studying, and as such all had student visas.

And yes, their conditions were hot and they shared a tank, but that's how they live where they come from, and they said it would be fine. OK, they could see me in my large, comfortable globe of importance, but to allow them the same living conditions would be to give them the impression they had the same rights as me, a fish native to these shores. I worked hard to get where I am today, building myself up from just another common goldfish to Steve, with my own bowl and two humans. And I wouldn't like to swallow one of the smaller ones by accident. I'm sure the smaller fish wouldn't have liked that either.

In any case, the fish have a lifespan of around two years, so they have now left their tank for the big white bowl in the bathroom - I mean fishbowl in the sky, and I have not yet taken in any more immigrant labourers - I mean exchange students.